Why should we Rethink how we think about others?

A few months ago, I had an opportunity to volunteer for an organization that stands for the betterment of the society. The name of the organization was C.H.I.L.D (Center for health, intelligence, Learning and Development ).
How ever I ended up volunteering for organizing an event for 'Person centered approaches'. To be honest and damn frank, it changed my attitude to life and my perception to people. This insight gave me a whole new experience on viewing people better and more blissfully.
So what exactly did I understand?
How about you answer me something first and I could explain better,
What do you call a person who has no vision? Obviously most of us use the term 'Blind'.
And a person who has learning dyslexia? Mostly people refer to them as dyslexic.
Isn't this just wrong? I mean we always see a person as Blind! and most often do we fail to see him as a 'Person with blindness'
Should this referring make any difference?
Yes it does! It makes a world of difference !
First when we refer a person as blind! we refer him with his condition!
Referring a person as a 'Blind person' puts our mindset as viewing a person with his condition up front!
And Seldom we see him as a person first! Say what is we start to see a him as a

'Person with blindness'
The fact that he is a person first comes into our mind and then his condition whatsoever.!
Now! you see a person first, and then only his condition! As a person, he is no different than you. Consider him an equal.!
Now!  Isn't that a world of difference?


Why are people so much hung up on differences? For most people they sense differences more than the similarities!
This always reminds me the beauty of Indians saying 'Namaste'.
Even though most people don't understand its meaning, the word Namaste means something so extravagant!
Saying namaste means, You, and I, in the space of love, are the same!
We might be different on this material world, you might have a different nose, another pair of eyes and we might even support the different teams in a sport, or might even like totally different sports.!
However, in the space of love, you, and I, are entirely the same!
What if the world just could go this way?

This is the way of life!_A story of the way of life

There are some people who like to think deep into the stories they hear. Here is one such story where people can dig deep and find hidden treasures of wisdom.

The story is called "The way of life".


The fisherman's boy,  went to the river shore for Fishing. He was startled to hear a weeping from nearby and walked towards it. He saw a crocodile who was all tied up inside a net. He started to turn away, but the crocodile in tears cried out to help.

"Please let me out"
"No! Why would I do that?"

"People are going to kill me"
"Indeed they are! You kill people ! You are dangerous to us, if I let you out, you will eat me too.."

"No, I wont hurt you, You are a boy and you will be like a son to me, if you let me out.. I Promise!! "

The boy was moved by hearing the Promise and seeing the Crocodile tears!
So he decided to let the crocodile go and started opening the net.
When he opened the mouth part of the net, the crocodile grabs the boy with its mouth.



"Why are you trying to eat me? You promised..!"
"Dear Boy, This is the way of life! You will hear promises, and will not be fulfilled, you will be attacked by the ones you save ! this is the way of life.!"

"No I don't understand you..!"
"If you don't believe me, ask someone else!"

The boy sees a donkey and asks him "Heyy= donkey! is it true? Is this the way of life?"
"Yes it is, my owner used me to carry his heavy goods and when I got old, he left me here to die ! This is the way of life !  "

" I don't believe you !" says the boy.

Next he sees a bird up in the tree and asks her "Hey bird, is this true? Is this the way of life?"
"Yes it is true, I collect twigs and leaves the whole season, for my little ones to grow, I lay my eggs and a snake out of no where comes to eat my eggs! This is the way of life"

"Humm.. still I cant convince myself !" says the boy.

He looks around and sees a hare. The boy asks the hare "Hey Hare, is this true? Is this the way of life?"
And the hare says "I don't think so!"

This time the crocodile gets surprised by hearing the hare!
"How can you say that ? This is the Way of life, Life is unfair "
"I have been watching both of you from the beginning and still I don't know why you think life is unfair, Talk to me Mr.crocodile! Tell me why you think life is unfair for you! "

"How can I talk to you while I hold this boy in my mouth? what if he runs away?!"
"Mr. Crocodile, you are so powerful and mighty, you can always hit down the boy with your tail if the boy tries to run!"

Crocodile releases the hold and suddenly the Hare shouts "Run boy run! run as fast as you can run away, the crocodile has only its mouth free from the net. Run!! "

"How could you do this to me? You tricked me and left my food escape!"
Hare replied "This is the way of life "

The story doesn't end here! People might think stories always have a happy ending! Guess what..
The boy returns to the riverside with more people and kills the crocodile!

Then he catches the Hare and kills it for food! and the boy tells himself "This is the way of life"



And the story ends.! Well, the story does not pass a message that life is always unfair. But it says that life could be unfair. There will be broken promises, You might be avoided by the ones who you helped, there will be times when your expectations will be spoiled by unknown people, there will be times when you will be hurt by the ones you helped, there will be times when you will be flattered and cheated.
Yes, it is not that you should be always sad, but if we accept for life as it is, if we accept theses facts, you could enjoy your life better..

Shall I start believing in the fairy tales ?

Believing in the fairy tale

There was this kid, whom I met along the park,

She told me a fairy tale and so became my friend,

She told how the fireflies at night became fairies in the dark.

She told me about the wishes they could grant.

I gazed at her like a painting, she had something I lost.

She was all beauty and charm with the laughter all around,

She followed the fireflies and never one did she caught.

She chased them away and none were seen around.

She kept her search and still found none.

She had what I lost, the belief in fairy tales.

She came every week and yet found nothing.

One day she shall grow and lose what I lost.

What if one day fairy tales come alive with the power of belief?

What if I could start believing again, or to help her see the truth?

 I took her side and searched with her to watch her smile.

I took her up, her laughter and I gazed at her like a painting.


I started searching for the fireflies every day, with her

One day she might catch one and her beliefs might end.

“What are you going to wish for Mister?” She asked.

Then I realized that I never believed even while I searched.

“I don’t have a wish! And what do you want?” I asked

“More fireflies.” She said. Yes! A silly little girl.

“If you don’t have anything! why are you searching?” She asked.

“That is what friends do” I said and I smiled.

One day she might catch one and her beliefs might end.
But who am I to judge?

Sometimes, even though you know the truth, you will let someone believe what they want.
It is called tolerance ! It shows your humility, and the ability to accept things as it is.
When you are right and the other is proven wrong, if you never speak the words "I told you so !" ! Then the  care you give to this world, and you are amazing

Gold rush in Kerala! Proof #1 for dying educational standards!

Even though Kerala is said to be one among the top class educated states in India,
I don't think that people here are free from ego like they are free from illiteracy.
This makes us really question about what education is all about.

People will probably wont believe this, but the statistics will prove it.
Kerala will be rich enough to lend money to England if we sell just 50% of gold kept at hand and locked in bank lockers. Kerala will also be rich enough to remove the poverty in INDIA.
There are a lot of people who opposed India's "Mangalyan"- The mars mission, which proved to be more economic than the movie " Gravity ". Why was it opposed? because India came up with a mars mission instead of spending that money on poverty ? So, when was the last time the media opposed Keralites buying Gold instead of donating some extra money to get rid of poverty? My guess, NEVER !
The main reason that I believe is the ego in the hearts that makes people believe that buying a certain amount of gold would increase the social status. But isn't there a limit for showing off?

ever wondered why do humans like gold?
Yes, Gold is an inert metal! There are other inert metals too, But unlike them the color of gold is more soothing to the eyes. Everyone knows the importance of gold in the economy.
At least the 100% educated Keralites!
Still I don't believe that this trend is going to be eliminated quickly.
And why so?
Ego!
and Why ego?
Because the so called education does not point to the right direction.
Even I knew parents who wanted their children to score more, be a topper from grade 1,
and be "educated" well, so that they could get better market value in the marriage market and get better Dowry  or since Dowry is banned, "Wedding presents" and more Gold on bride!
So technically the groom will get married the gold and the bride!
Yes I might be hurting a lot of people, but being covered in gold is not beauty. I guess some people would be interested to see the bride than the gold she is wearing.
In every English movie I have seen, shows the bride who wants to show off her beauty on the wedding day!
but In kerala, the bride wants to show off her jewelry ! Strange!
Oh, Culture! our culture is to bring gold to the grooms home?
Please! Hear yourself.! There was a time when the women at home would sit back and just take care of children and do laundry, do cooking! Wasn't that our culture back then?
So if women are now able to go to work, be able to support a family in a greater way than before, it means that Old Culture has been changed! So why not this?
Once Antony Alappat of Alappatt herittage bragged that "America's Largest jewellery showroom would be just half the size of one of our showrooms in MG road" I am still not sure if to take it as a prestige or to consider as an insult!

From the day you hold my hands..

The special moments in life,  they are unforgettable, Like the first crush,first love,  first breakup, first proposal, first child..I wrote this poem on such an occasion.

Though so ordinary, yet special to me.

------------------------------Skip this part if you aren't feeling racist enough---------------------------

In India- probably First slap, First and Only Marriage.!(In India proposals are abundant and a possible crime... and cute girls usually have more brother-like friends than girls who doesn't look that well (I avoided term "Ugly" on purpose ). Still trying to figure that phenomenon out.. may be 'Brotherzoned' )

----------------------------PS. I Love INDIA, Its some Indians I don't like-------------------------

I am a skeptic yet secretly romantic,Also a fan of Open source! so feel free to send it to someone special if you feel to, even editing is all right! probably the first open source poem FOSP!

From the day you hold my hands

From the day you hold my hands again, you should know.
I would never let you go.
Even in pain or in any sorrow, you should know,

you will have me to hold on to.

People will vanish and switch sides you see?

Never should it bother you, since I will stay with thee.

While you swim in the lakes,
or run through the pastures or grounds,
I shall keep you safe from the gators or hounds.

And wen you get bored of the reading book I baught
you can lay in my arms to sleep.
You can curl up on my side,
watching the rain or the stars on that chilly night.
I shall keep you warm till the sun shines bright.

Your smile shall be my prized possession,
my heart even in such pain,
feels such joy
sometimes you are the only thing I enjoy.

And for your laughter, I shall die for it.
Your little hands, so sweet and soft when felt,
brought my heart of stone to melt.

What will love think if i keep it from you?
Should love feel like a storm or a drizzle?
It shall rain on to you and you alone.

Oh yes,it is true, my love is pure and it is changing me.
Like the Beauty turning the beast to a handsome prince.
You need not kiss anymore frogs to find the real prince,
just hold my hands and kiss me once.

I shall make you cry only with the tears of joy.
The true joys and bliss are yours to be.
Once in your life you will see, all the places you wanted to see.
I will walk with thee, tell stories of wonderlands that one finds,
from the day you hold my hands..

Everything is perfect with its own imperfections..! And you are everything..!

This is the first blog that I am writing as myself. So do feel free to correct me, give suggestions or express your own views to me, I love to hear people and I will always value good thoughts.
"Spelling Nazis", and "Grammar Nazis" are welcomed too.

This is a small incident that occurred during the last week of October 2013.
I was working with an arts workshop on denim conducted by the Levis. One among the participating girls  painted her own hand and tried to imprint it on the denim piece, however the attempt on first cloth piece was a failure and it looked like a person with six fingers imprinted it.Well, she left it away and tried to do it better on the next denim piece. That denim cloth that she rejected however caught my interest. I added theses words to the cloth "Everything is perfect, with its own imperfection and you are everything".
( YES she was cute and She was pretty much impressed and all,  but that is another story.. ;) )

The idea of these very words have haunted me for a long time. The idea of being perfect is ideal.
There is nothing absolutely "Perfect". The idea of perfection is just imagination. Any thing on closer inspection or understanding can be understood to be imperfect. Doesn't seem right? Let me explain. Now imagine the most smoothest surface that we know! Say a billiard cue ball! Now imagine the smoothness of it on a billiards table! Pretty smooth huh? But think microscopically now, the surface of both cue ball and the table are full of crevices and irregularities! If you can't imagine, just believe me! It is so!

Now think of the best person you know!I am sure there would be at least a handful of bad traits that they have, at least in most microscopic levels. But we just ignore the roughness as long as we don't feel or see it.
So even the most perfect thing has imperfections! Say take Mahathma Gandhi for instance, he is considered as the father of the nation in India! But there are/were people who strongly opposed him. I would say he wore no executive outfits during meetings, he had no six pack, no hair, no teeth! But still he turned out to be an awesome person than most people in India, may be even the World admire!

But when you think of it, the reverse is also true.! isn't it? I mean, Consider the worst person you know!
There might be at least a handful good qualities that he/she would have! Say if we consider Hitler! Some say he was a terrible person! but others say he was a great leader, a great orator, he had a great mustache etc..
Whoever it might be, what ever they might do, they will have at least some qualities in them.
If you think of a "douche bag person" and try to find the positive traits in them, that might take some practice!

There is a little bit badness in every good thing, and there is a little bit of goodness in everything bad too. So why don't we consider everything good and perfect?  Everything is perfect because nothing is. When we don't see the imperfections we naturally won't make a big deal out of it and consider it perfect.

For people who believe in karma, Food for thought :
Haven't we always wanted someone to acknowledge us and consider us as perfect, even though we had a load of imperfections,or at least wanted to be accepted well even with the imperfections we have?
Now why not we donate this feeling to others? Saying "Everything is perfect with its own imperfection, And you are everything !".